Direction

When the heavy-hitting club of depression clobbers me to the ground, I always question things. Whether I’m actually sad/depressed/anxious. Whether I’m faking for attention (not that I tell anyone when I have a panic attack. I usually hide). It’s a downward spiraling thing. Falling into inky darkness. Or smoky depths. I always feel free-floating, but in a bad way. I can’t control my limbs just the way I want. My breathing doesn’t seem my own.

What I’ve found that works best to pull out of these moods/episodes/moments is direction.

Seems simple. Like… too simple.

But I just experienced it again and am now motivated to write this blog post. 😀

I’m not completely out of the metaphorical woods that my thoughts are lost in, but I’m at least able to see where I’m going now. I have a direction. That guiding light or the dirt path.

Another thing I’ve realized (during my endless journaling) is that this feeling — this dread, this hopelessness, this helplessness, this vulnerability, this darkness — its never going away. Even after publishing a book and getting closer to my YouTube goals and my business goals, I’m not feeling better. I’m just…busier. Ha. Which is a good distraction and I love the things I’m putting out into the world. But the rush of accomplishment only lasts a few moments.

Because… its about the creation. The journey. Finding that path in the dark and saying AHA! into the night and raising your dagger to fight off the alerted beasts. Its the battle. The forging ahead. The sailing. The crawling.

As long as you have a direction, the bad thoughts can’t trap you. You’ll be a step ahead.

So, when you feel lost or down, always pull out that compass in your heart. Know where you’re heading.

And when you reach your destination, gear up for the next journey. Because it starts at dawn.

Keeping creating lovelies and have a good morning, afternoon, evening and/or night,

What do you think? Let me know ;)